The Kit Kat Club

My life is frustrating and stagnant.

I want to lose some weight. I know that sounds ridiculous; I know I don't need to. Trust me, I've been told quite enough recently that I have no "right" to want to lose weight. I'm thin by pretty much anyone's standards.

But I was literally one consistent weight through middle school and most of high school. Then, senior year, BAM, I gained 16 pounds, and I've been gaining weight slowly since then. And I don't think it's unfair to think that that's almost always going to be frustrating, no matter who you are. Even if that change just brings you from "terrifyingly skinny" to "a vaguely normal weight."

I really don't know what to do about it, though. At Oberlin there was a gym I could use for free, even though I didn't take advantage of that nearly as much as I should have. Here, the gym is out of my price range for the time being. Which leaves running (not an enjoyable prospect, but one I might be willing to try) or using yoga videos or my workout ball. Not sure how effective those would be in the weight loss department, but I could try. I'm not especially willing to change the way I eat. I'm certainly not willing to eat less, though maybe I should; I'm just so hungry ALL THE TIME these days.

Ugh. I don't know. And why is the gym so out of my price range? Because I'm still unemployed, and apparently unemployable. No one has called me back. No one. What the fuck. I know I'm inexperienced, but do I come across as utterly incompetent just in a freaking paper application??

I'm going to start talking to temp agencies, but at this point my hopes are not high for anything.