The Kit Kat Club

( Also the answer to half these questions is going to be 'Doctor Who,' because I have a problem. )

Hum dee dum. 3 days of work this week = more money than usual.

It's the last night of the Greek Agora, and I want to go with Corynn but she's being stupid and not answering texts :D :D :D I LOVE YOU CORYNN <3

I had a lovely weekend up in New Brunswick with DJ and April...we went to the Hyatt Regency's bar for DJ's birthday, I had a really nice time with them and all their friends, and I discovered that I have a bit of a talent for pool.

And I have an interview at Best Buy on Tuesday. SO not getting my hopes up because when that happens, things fall through.

Lysander: "You should come mini golfing with us next time!"
Me: "Well, I'm not very good at mini golf."
Lysander: "You're not? What are you very good at?"
Me: "...Um. Nothing, actually."
Lysander: "You're not very good at ANYTHING? So...what do you do? What do you do all day?"

...Good question, little man. Good question.

I had a really lovely day today with DJ, April and Trinity.

It's all somewhat marred by the fact that yesterday, I phoned Good2Go -- can I point out at this moment that I've been calling them once a week for two months at this point? -- to ask if I could get started this week. "Oh, well I'm making the schedule up tomorrow. Can I give you a call tomorrow?" "Sure, absolutely."

Today came and went. At 8:30 p.m, I called them myself. No answer. I left a message. No one got back to me.

I do not know what the hell is wrong with these people. The way they have treated me is utterly fucking unprofessional. My interviewer literally DID NOT SHOW UP for our scheduled interview a few weeks back, they don't call when they say they will, and now they don't answer when I call? What the hell is going on here?

I'm just lost. I have no job. I have no money. I'm completely and utterly shit out of luck.

I don't know what to do.

I was somewhat more depressed than I should have been today, considering I go home the day after tomorrow. I dragged myself to SAGR and lunch, then went back to my room and collapsed into the most epic nap ever, complete with weird, sad dreams that I can't remember now. Skipped Psych, but whatev. I need to snap out of this. I think I need cuddles.

My fall break is shaping up to be ridiculously busy. Here's what I need/want to do, in no particular order:
-Go to Trader Joe's and get tea tree oil face pads oh my God my skin looks like I'm 13 or something.
-Have a ridiculous Friendly's lunch with psu_david_j!
-Hang out with JT and Kelsey.
-Hang out with djm1975, and hopefully apers and Trinity.
-Appointment with my useless psychiatrist.
-Appointment with my awesome therapist.
-Go visit the old high school haunts, with Ashley on Thursday and/or on Friday with n2_vs_life.
-Hang out with Ms. Jen.
-See charliesmum and Charlie.
-Hang out with Emily.

I'm sure there's other stuff...if I had plans with you or you want to make plans, let me know.

It will be nice to be back where I feel like I belong. Where I'm 100% secure in my friendships.

Cuddles are definitely in order. Come here, dolphin pillow, you're human-sized. Ish.

At some point, I stole this word from apers' vocabulary. I love it. Definition (this is my understanding at least): Nervous, jumpy, and generally just slightly "off."

For me, it's often brought on by caffeine that affects me badly. (I don't understand why, but different caffeinated beverages affect me differently. Coffee: makes me friendly and personable. Vault: makes me have panic attacks and curl up on the floor.)

Today, I have no explanation for it. I woke up at 8 and couldn't get back to sleep. Had a long, busy, mostly fun day. Class, lunch, class, doctor's appointment, epic CVS trip, dinner, screening of "Brokeback Mountain" for one of my classes. But something's felt weird and off all day.

Maybe it's just that I feel worse and worse about my looks every day. Sure, it's shallow. Whatever. But I do feel like I can't measure up, physically, to the girls around me. And it does get depressing. I wish I were smaller. And thinner. (Damnit, I want my old weight back!)

I guess I'm also a little down because of watching "Brokeback Mountain." I cried like a BABY. God, that was beautiful. Jake Gyllenhaal didn't quite convince me when he was playing a middle-aged, bitter man, though. Heath Ledger, however, is a brilliant actor. Was. WAS a brilliant actor. Aw, shit.

QUOTE OF THE DAY:
Lili: (in response to me telling her about the movie) "Oh, don't you have a gay class?"