The Kit Kat Club

"But Oh! for the wise, loving home girls
There's constant and steady demand."

-I'm taking a break from writing my ten-page research paper right now. I may stop for the night. I'm honestly just kind of writing unsubstantiated crap right now. Argh, I am terrified. I have at least four pages left to go, and it's due on Monday. Four pages in two days wouldn't be such a big deal, either, except I'm afraid I'm running out of material. Hell, I'm afraid I'm doing this whole thing wrong. Too much background before I get to the point? An unclear thesis? Is it terribly obvious that I'm really trying to pad it up with stuff that doesn't necessarily support my point? How does my professor want this cited? What do I do when I'm making a point that seems terribly obvious, but for which I have no citation? (For example: Duh, women are usually portrayed as passive bystanders in history, but that's because of the legal and social constraints on their behavior which prevented them from playing a more active role. Do I need to prove that somehow?)

-I went to get my hair cut with Ashley yesterday. Pictures are here and here. I think I like it, but it was supposed to look like this, so I'm somewhat disappointed. I may actually invest in a hair straightener to get it to look more like how I wanted it. Damn my surprisingly fluffy hair.

-Ashley and I got mistaken for twins. Again. It's starting to be a little spooky.

-I hate that I am such a Debbie Downer all the freaking time lately. Again, when I'm actually out with friends, I'm pretty happy. But when I'm home, or online, I'm like...miserable. I really dislike that about myself.

-There's so much I want to be doing. Like baking or writing or learning to drive or knitting or getting a job (which is in fact a necessity). But I don't know where to start or what to do. I just know my life is super boring most of the time.

-Oh yeah, and I didn't get that government-sponsored job. Turns out it's like financial aid; since my mom makes above a certain amount of money, they can't pay me. Well fuck. I am quite literally broke and now I don't know what to do.

-I want to cuddle with someone and watch scary movies.

I was somewhat more depressed than I should have been today, considering I go home the day after tomorrow. I dragged myself to SAGR and lunch, then went back to my room and collapsed into the most epic nap ever, complete with weird, sad dreams that I can't remember now. Skipped Psych, but whatev. I need to snap out of this. I think I need cuddles.

My fall break is shaping up to be ridiculously busy. Here's what I need/want to do, in no particular order:
-Go to Trader Joe's and get tea tree oil face pads oh my God my skin looks like I'm 13 or something.
-Have a ridiculous Friendly's lunch with psu_david_j!
-Hang out with JT and Kelsey.
-Hang out with djm1975, and hopefully apers and Trinity.
-Appointment with my useless psychiatrist.
-Appointment with my awesome therapist.
-Go visit the old high school haunts, with Ashley on Thursday and/or on Friday with n2_vs_life.
-Hang out with Ms. Jen.
-See charliesmum and Charlie.
-Hang out with Emily.

I'm sure there's other stuff...if I had plans with you or you want to make plans, let me know.

It will be nice to be back where I feel like I belong. Where I'm 100% secure in my friendships.

Cuddles are definitely in order. Come here, dolphin pillow, you're human-sized. Ish.