The Kit Kat Club

Note to self: Reading my psychology textbook early in the morning when I haven't slept has a disturbing tendency to result in me having an existential crisis. Who am I? I have absolutely no idea and now I'm psychoanalyzing myself and coming up with nothing good. Sometimes I wish I could pin myself down, put myself into a pigeonhole. I feel like everyone around me is either outgoing or shy, extroverted or introverted. I know that's an overgeneralization and everyone changes according to different situations, but I can't figure out whether I am more of one or the other. At all.

Neither can other people, apparently. I was discussing this with Brett and Jessie, and Brett looked at me and said "I can't tell if you're shy or not." Yeah, well, you and me both. Sometimes I am and sometimes I'm not and I can't figure it out.

...Like I said, I haven't slept. Maybe today will be the day I finally fix my sleep schedule. I'm stuck in an awful rut right now of sleeping through the things I need to do because I'm depressed, and being depressed because I slept through the things I needed to do. I also haven't taken my medication in like a week, which I'm SURE is not helping. I'm freakin' miserable. This needs to change.

A girl on my floor is selling her 30-gig Zune for $130. I'm probably going to buy it because I need a new player and DAMN, that's a good price. I really, really hope I get this Concert Sound job, otherwise I absolutely will not be able to justify this purchase. I hate money so much. I hate fretting about it all the time. Gah.

So, I finally got mentioned on Oberlin Confessional! Like hardcore! Someone posted and said "Jessie having a girlfriend makes me both happy for her and sad for obvious reasons." Then there were like 25 posts of "Jessie is so obnoxious." "No she's not, you're obnoxious," etc. And then, and THEN, someone said "She's pretty cute, but her girlfriend is so hot it's disorienting."

...Disorienting? I feel like I should start wearing a burqa in public so I don't cause car crashes. Hmm.

And, yes, it is OCon, so the person who said that is most likely a creepy loser who never leaves his/her room, but shh. Let me have my fun. Consider my self-esteem boosted.

A shower is a good idea. Fun fact: I don't shower nearly enough when I'm at college.