The Kit Kat Club

Updated to-do list:
-Write up my internship proposal and fax it to Genesis. Uh. Anyone here know where I can find a fax machine? More to the point, anyone here know how to USE a fax machine?
-4-6 page paper for SAGR regarding dissimilar seduction styles in ancient Greece versus ancient Rome. Hoping to get a decent start on that tonight.
-Very very abstract final project assignment for Mysteries of Identity. I NEED A MORE CONCRETE ASSIGNMENT ;_; This is probably something I'll end up doing in a 3 a.m delirium.
-Start studying for my final exam for Psych. I pretty much...haven't been paying attention for the last three weeks or so. I hate lecture courses. I also hate my inability to focus when I'm not being asked to contribute to a discussion.
-Storytelling ExCo tonight.
-Storytelling final on Saturday night. You should all come and hear the story of my emotional baggage.

For tonight: Go through all the readings Kirk said might be helpful for this SAGR paper, take notes, come up with a thesis, and if I haven't passed out by then, start outlining/writing.

Tomorrow: Finish that paper. With any time left over, start studying for Psych (and review that material every day until Wednesday. I've been getting crappy grades and it's probably due in part to only studying the night before the test).

Saturday: Brainstorm, brainstorm, brainstorm...and eventually come up with an idea for my Mysteries of Identity project. And start working on it.

Sunday/Monday: Spend time on project and studying, adjusting as needed.

Tuesday: Turn in project, devote rest of that day to studying.

Wednesday: Take Psych exam. Collapse.

Thursday: Go HOME SWEET CROSSDRESSING JESUS I JUST WANT TO GO HOME.

There are various study breaks/parties I'm not factoring in, but, largely, that's how I hope to spend the next week.

u guys srsly.

I can't write this fucking paper.

I'm kind of paralyzed by my fear. I have yet to get an A on a paper at Oberlin. And I know, both of my professors for whom I've had to write papers are self-confessed tough graders. And I haven't written many papers.

But I've totally lost confidence in my ability to write a decent analytic paper. And I don't know how to make my ideas be five pages long.

This thing is due in 14 hours.

Helphelphelp.

Okay...fail. At around 7 this morning, I decided to lie down until Franny called me and then I'd jump out of bed bright eyed and bushy tailed and go to the gym.

Yeah, NOT so much. Ended up sleeping right through Sex With Kirk (DAMNIT, that keeps happening) and waking up at around 1. On the plus side, the Psych exam wasn't terrible. I think I did better than last time, anyway.

Anyway, now I'm lazing around...rewarded myself after the exam with an enormous Decafe sandwich, which means I probably won't be hungry for dinner. Tonight, sadly, might be one of those "stay in my room and watch House and read" nights. (I'm steadily watching my way through ALL of House, can you tell? I think I'm obsessed. I've been dreaming about it at night.)

( But before I get back to reading, here's one of those music quizzes that's steadily making its way through Team Jesus. )

Things I need to accomplish tonight:
-Prepare for the Psych exam tomorrow, which I have sort of been doing for the past 6 hours but my friends are too much fun so I didn't necessarily get much done.
-Get some vague idea of what classes I want to take next semester 'cause I have an advising appointment tomorrow.
-Read 30 or so pages for Sex With Kirk.

Time:
2:14 a.m.

New best friend:
Starbucks doubleshot.

Amount of sleep I anticipate getting:
...Maybe I'll just stay up until 7 or so and go to the gym with Franny then?

I WANT TO SLEEP SO BADLY.

But I also don't want to get another 76% on a Psych test. And I want to be able to contribute to discussion in SWK tomorrow.

OMG I fail college life. Is it the weekend yet? Fuck, is it winter break yet?

Edit at close to 7 a.m: Did indeed stay up all night studying and reading. Took a 20 minute nap though. Question is, now what do I do with myself?

I've been up all night writing this paper.

Wellll, ok, I haven't been WRITING all night. I'm very easily distracted. I did most of it in the past 2 hours or so.

However, I get unusually verbose and overly enthusiastic about life in the wee hours in the morning, which I think is an asset to paper-writing. This might be one of the best things I've ever written. Or maybe I'm so deliriously tired that I just think it's good. I have no idea at this point.

The question is, do I bother going to sleep? I don't have to be anywhere till 2:30, but I do honestly fear that I might not be able to wake up in time. Do I just stay up? But I am quite sleepy. Business hours are over, baby. This is a major dilemma. I really don't want to miss the bus (I'm going to vote!!) which is what could happen if I fall asleep and can't wake up. Yes yes, set alarms, but sometimes they don't work.

I don't know. Why am I even asking? No one in their right mind (or at least, no one in this time zone) is awake to read this anyway.

Should I brush my teeth? Yeah, I'm still in my clothes, I never got around to the whole "bedtime" thing. Do I bother? I have cookies. I bought them and they are good. I mean not that I want to eat them right now, I'm just sharing with you...that I have cookies. Fudge stripe cookies. The ones elves make. I mean, I know I should brush my teeth, but it takes me such a long time to get up and go to the bathroom.

I'm soooooo bad at being a Jew. I'm not fasting. My body has had a bad enough week as it is. Also I'm not resting tomorrow, or praying until evening services. FAIL.

Something tells me I sound very strange in this post and don't know it yet.

I have a lot that I need to be doing right now, and zero motivation to do any of it.

On the plus side, no classes on Thursday. So even though God probably wants me to spend the day repenting, fasting, etc., God clearly did not factor a broken leg and a shit ton of makeup work into the Yom Kippur plans. In other words, I can't really afford to take Thursday off the way I should. I have two papers due on Friday.

I was supposed to go pick up a key for the supply closet and elevator today. I honestly feel too wiped to bother hauling my ass over to the Service Building. At this point, I'm just happy that I made it to both of today's classes -- which is more than I can say about any day this past week.

Speaking of classes, I'm withdrawing from Intro to Judaism. Funnily enough, it involves the least amount of work out of everything I'm taking. But it's my earliest class (so I've missed a lot of sessions already) and I really kind of hated it. Very dull and dry, and hasn't taught me that much that I wanted to know about Judaism. It's also the one class wherein I have nothing even remotely resembling friends.

I'm really starting to get tired of this pattern where I like someone I have literally no chance with. Couldn't I, just once, have a crush on someone not totally out of my league? It's all very well to crush on a sweet, intelligent, moral guy -- until I realize that those qualities mean he can do (and has done) a million times better than me. Crap.

I might have a date sometime soon, though. Or maybe we're just hanging out. She seems nice, but I don't know what she's looking for.

Sorry this is so disjointed. Naptime.

According to Student Health, I just have a really bad cold and am not actually sick. Still feel like crap though. My voice is going; I sound like I'm 50 and smoke three packs a day.

I've started moving around without crutches because I'm in a "walking cast." (Which just velcroes on so I can take it off to shower -- yay, no fiddling with plastic bags and rubber bands.) It actually hurts like a bitch to walk without crutches because I'm putting weight on the leg, but in my opinion it's worth it to be able to carry stuff. However, I move UNBELIEVABLY slowly and make very threatening "ker-CLUNK" noises as I walk. I feel old and creepy. The smoker-voice, achiness, and constant sniffling do not help this feeling at all.

There's so much stuff I need to catch up on D: My professors were all really nice about giving me extensions and stuff, but now I find myself with two papers due on Friday, plus a quiz and exam to take. Yikes.

FOR TONIGHT/TOMORROW:
Read the legal speeches for SWK that I never got around to reading when they were assigned.
Go over notes and lecture Powerpoints for Psych.
Do last Thursday's reading for SWK.
Try to come up with theses for my two papers.
Go over the modules for the Psych quiz I missed.

...Yikes.

Take a picture of yourself right now.
Don't change your clothes, don't fix your hair...just take a picture.
Post that picture with NO editing.
Post these instructions with your picture.




As you can see, I'm typing this outdoors. I know the whole studying-in-the-grass-under-a-tree thing is very college brochure-y and cliche, but there is something to be said for it. And I want to take advantage of the weather before it turns nasty. And I'm not studying, so there's that.

These past 3 days have been pretty fantastic, in terms of waking up and being productive and keeping busy. steel_lily09 has taken it upon herself to be my wakeup call as we both aim to wake up at 9. Unfortunately for her, I'm usually in the middle of a dream when she calls, so our conversation yesterday went thusly:

Her: "Hello!"
Me: "NNNNNRGH."
Her: "Uh, this is your wake-up call-"
Me: "No, but I got a letter!"
Her: "What?"
Me: "A letter! I got a letter. I got a letter." *reception cuts out because Oberlin fails at cell phone service*

And today:
Her: "Hello!"
Me: "NNNNNRGH."
Her: "Have any more strange dreams?"
Me: "There was KITTENS. But I kept throwing up."

True story.

I took a pretty serious power nap in Psych today. It's a good thing I only have one giant lecture class, because they cannot hold my attention. Period. If we're not discussing and being kept active my brain is just like "Seeya." The lecture Powerpoint is online anyway (I think) and most of the material's in the textbook, so I don't feel like I'm missing much.

Sorry for any typos in this entry, there's sun glare on the screen so I can't see too well.

It's unnerving how little time it took for me to resume my slackerish, not-finishing-my-homework ways. I certainly don't have senioritis as an excuse anymore.

I was supposed to read acts 3 and 4 of Twelfth Night, and planned to study 2 chapters in my Psych book. I just finished act 3 and you know what, I think it's time I went to bed.

In my defense, we're probably not going to get around to discussing act 4 tomorrow in class. And I have until 11 pm tomorrow to study and take a quiz on the Psych chapters. So it shouldn't be a problem.

But before I go to bed, I have to brave dish-doing. Which I don't do very often as the kitchen is on the floor below me, and doesn't actually have sponges or detergent. Oh god, I hope nothing's grown mold. (I called him Albert! I was planning to grow him two foot high!)

Thank you lots and lots to everyone who called me this morning. My alarms did wake me up, but I have this nearly inhuman ability to fall back asleep after I've turned them off (seriously, it's like my superpower), so phone calls were a great help in making me actually get out of bed. It was nice to have time to get ready for once. I had time to eat an apple, check the weather on Google (which, somewhat bizarrely, claimed that it was raining right at that moment. It wasn't), take my meds, put on a nice outfit, and do my makeup. I should try this waking-up-early thing more often.

I am however still totally exhausted, especially after my hour-and-fifteen-minutes Psych class. Everything I've heard about those giant lecture classes is true. It's almost too easy to fall asleep/talk to your friends/bum around online, because no one stops you or hits your desk with a ruler when you fall asleep. (I had teachers who did that, it was not cool.)

Looks like my laptop's about to die. I now decree it naptime. My next challenge for the day will be waking up in time for dinner.

Ok, the staying up till four on a weeknight when my parents aren't around to make sure I get up? Going to try not to do that again. At least not if I don't have a wake up call lined up.

...Yeah, woke up 15 minutes after my first class had started. Woops. Decided it wasn't worth it to go; by the time I biked over there the class would be mostly over and I didn't want to barge in awkwardly. Oh well. So I went back to sleep and woke up in time for my 1:30 class.

Seriously self, it's the second week of classes, could you try not to be such a failure?

I had a majorly unfortunate glitter mishap this evening. I carry around this little tub of silver glitter because...well, actually I have no good reason for why I do that, but I do. Aaand apparently it exploded in my purse. Dimitri Martin was not wrong when he described glitter as "the herpes of craft supplies." It was all over my shirt, my body UNDER my shirt, my sheets, my rug, everything that was in the purse, and, most especially, the purse itself. I threw the purse in the wash so hopefully it can be salvaged.

My lack of a romantic life is bothering me more than usual tonight. I'm not sure why. It's been a year and a half, which I know isn't that long, but in high school I was never really single for more than a few months at a time. And yes, I have had a few offers, but just no one...good enough, I guess. Because I set my sights too high and I seem to be locked in that unfortunate paradox wherein the people who meet my criteria are gay guys, straight girls, or just taken. Oh well.

While I was buying my textbooks, I also, on a whim, ordered a copy of The Little Prince. I've only read it in its entirety once before, so I didn't remember it too well, but I thought it was lovely. Today I picked up my copy and discovered it was some "new, innovative, daring" translation of the text done in 2000. Now like I said, I didn't remember the book too well, and I know absolutely nothing about French so I can't comment on the accuracy of either translation, but I actually really disliked the one I just read.
( I'm going to go ahead and cut this because it's pretty boring. )

Today was a true college day, and I'm pretty happy about that.

I woke up, I did the class thing with learning and stuff. I am WAYYY too used to being a big fish in a small pond. People here are actually smarter than me. I mean, there were obviously people in high chool who were smarter than me, but a LOT of them are here. But Sexuality in Ancient Greece and Rome (hereafter known as Sex With Kirk [Kirk being the professor]) is really fascinating and often very amusing. Nothing like reading a flowery ancient English translation of a Greek text and realizing it says "You like sex with boys because you like putting it up their butts. Women have butts too, so why don't you just have sex with them?"

Then I went to an Oberlin Musical Theatre Association meeting and randomly got elected to the board. Like the true self-centered person I am, I nominated myself for secretary but was beaten out by a more experienced girl. But when they were nominating for Treasurer in Training (that's right. TIT.), this guy randomly nominated me and I won. It was very strange and unexpected. So now I'm a TIT, and next semester (or maybe next year, I forget how long the position lasts), I will be in charge of all of OMTA's money. That should frighten everyone involved.

After that I went to the LGBTQA first-year dinner, which was fun, though I'm starting to think there are no attractive girls-who-like-girls on campus. PROVE ME WRONG, LADIES. And then date me.

Aaand after THAT I met up with this guy...we both wanted to try out for Piscapo's Arm, a campus comedy group, but we each needed another person in the skits we were going to do. I just had to be a Belligerently Drunk Freshman Girl for his skit, but his role in my skit was a little tricker. Because I was performing Good Touch/Bad Touch (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXiP76cOego) by Picnicface. And if you don't feel like watching the vid, let me just tell you that it involves a lot of molestation-type touching. Like, a lot. And I did not know this guy. It was one of the most awkward things in my life to date.

So I don't know if I got in. I probably jinxed it by mentioning it here. On the plus side, they really need girls in the group, and they all laughed really hard at my audition, but I've been proven wrong about 18274783 times about the quality of my auditions, so who knows?

Then I went back to my dorm to write a paper. I also had the most vile cup of coffee ever made. The sad thing is that I made it. Yes sirree, with my $10 coffeemaker that doesn't close all the way, I made myself some damn coffee. And it was awful. Mostly because I can't get the chai taste out of my mug, and while I love chai, it does not belong with coffee.

Next up: Firefly. Or sleep. I'm really not sure.