The Kit Kat Club

Ok, now it's been a month -- almost down to the hour -- since I went to the silly goose hopsickle.

Thoughts for today:
It's starting to bother me more than it did at first that I won't be back at Oberlin next semester. I know it's probably better that way, but I can't even imagine how frustrating I'm going to find it. Especially with the wonders of the modern age -- by which I mean Twitter, Facebook, and LJ -- I'll get to read about the fun everyone's having, while being stuck at home and frankly having very little fun. I'm suddenly very glad I have some friends who don't go to college or who commute. At least I'll have Ashley and Ralph and some other people.

But yeah, as little as I appreciated and enjoyed Oberlin while I was there, there's a lot I'll miss and be envious of during my convalescence (and by convalescence I mean going to therapy once or twice a week and otherwise going stir crazy). At least maybe it will make me more thankful for what Oberlin has to offer when I go back in the spring. (Of course, by that point I hope to be much more of a functional human being in general, who doesn't like...hate life.)

I'd been putting off calling my boss at the Candy Buffet. Which seems odd considering how badly I need to work and get money, but I knew it would lead to the dreaded "Actually, I'll be here until December or January...I'm taking next semester off" conversation. And it did. If I say it's a medical leave, what if he thinks I'm sick and can't work? And if I elaborate and say it's for mental health reasons...well, no one wants to have a crazy person working for them.

Fortunately he didn't ask too many questions after I told him I didn't have much of a choice in the matter. And he'll be calling me when he has some hours I can work. Bless that man.

I feel as though my new medicine is giving me exceptionally vivid dreams. It seems like a weird side effect, but hey, pretty much anything's possible on psychotropic drugs. But then it could just as easily be because I've been sleeping so late, and I tend to dream more vividly when I sleep into the late morning. Time will tell, I guess. My doctor wants me to try to remember and document my dreams to see if they say anything important.

Last night I dreamed that I contacted both the Candy Buffet and the Ritz to see about working while I'm home, only to discover that both of my bosses had died while I'd been away. I would have known, and could have attended their funerals, if I'd only called sooner. Both of these are men who've been very kind to me and I feel very affectionate towards them. After I learned that they'd died, all I remember from the dream is crying uncontrollably. An alarming percentage of my dreams seem to end that way.

I've been having the strangest dreams over the past few days -- a side effect, I guess, of sleeping so much (as I inevitably do when I'm home on break).

What makes these dreams especially strange, though, is their nature. I keep solving things. Philosophical or economic mysteries that the greatest minds in the world have puzzled over for decades or centuries. In the most vivid of my recent dreams, I was working on a project for my Jewish History class. In the process of said project, I solved Judaism. I made it so no one would ever have to argue over a point in the Torah ever again (yeah, right). I worked it all out; I found the whole truth. But there was more; I also solved some kind of mystery regarding the sun and the laws of physics, AND I found out the truth about space aliens.

I have no idea. And the frustrating thing is that I wake up, and it's not that I've forgotten my solutions to these problems -- I remember them perfectly, but they make NO DAMN SENSE.

They haven't all been deep and mysterious like that, though. I also dreamt that I met Tim Geithner. I got my picture taken with him because I knew strawberrysgirl would be totally jealous. Then I accidentally called him "Geithnercup"to his face and it was really awkward. Thanks, subconscious.

Ladies and gentlemen -- you have not had a nightmare until you have dreamt that you are playing Columbia, in a production of The Rocky Horror Picture Show, alongside Rod Blagojevich as Rocky.

Thanks a lot, rahmbamarama.

If you were wondering, other cast members included Rahm Emanuel (Frankenfurter), Obama and Michelle (Brad and Janet), Rachel Maddow (Magenta), Anderson Cooper (RiffRaff), and John McCain (Eddie).

Anywhoodle. I'm heading back to Oberlin in the morning. Not sure how ready I am to give life out there another shot. I'm...really scared, actually. I miss being around Team Jesus/Four Crazy Bitches all the time. Guys, why didn't we just all go to the same school? :(

steel_lily09 and I had quite the adventure yesterday. She came to visit Collingswood. YAY! It was pouring freezing rain -- not so yay. But we went and explored Haddon Ave, and decided to go visit the taxidermist. Now, I used to pass the taxidermist once a week on my walk home from therapy, and was always really weirded out by it. I'd walk by at 4 in the afternoon and it'd be closed up tight. 8 in the evening? Wide open. WEIRD. So we walked over there and it's about 5:30 p.m, and it's closed, but we looked in at all the animals and laughed and were grossed out and mocked the idea of taxidermy in general.

Suddenly we heard a voice. "Ya wanna pet them?"

Oh god oh god oh god. The OWNER just turned up, wielding a snow shovel and apparently about to open the shop. We were like "...UHHHHH" and he ushered us inside. It smelled friggin nasty in there, people, and we had to stand there awkwardly admiring the GIANT MOOSE HEAD ON THE WALL while he talked to us about his store. "It's not the norm, you know, for Collingswood, heh heh heh. All these restaurants. But I've been here since loooooong before all the restaurants, heh heh. You girls from around here?"

Finally I panicked and was like "Man, all these dead animals are making me hungry. Let's go get dinner!" and we BOOKED IT out of there. I swear I thought we were about to become his latest displays and he'd hang us up next to the moose. GAH.

So earlier this evening I decided to curl up and take a power nap in a womb chair in Mudd.

I dreamt that I was riding a unicorn across the land. (The land being my kingdom. Because I was a fucking princess, ok?) The unicorn was cool and all, but then I was like "Screw this, I want a motorcycle." And so my unicorn's legs were replaced with motorcycle tires.

And I rode my strange beastie, with the head and body of a unicorn and the wheels of a motorcycle, across my kingdom.

I've never had such a major "...what the hell?" moment as I did when I woke up from that nap.