The Kit Kat Club

I spoke to Dr. Munir today about my concerns regarding my Prozac and got toootally shut down. Apparently "sedation" is not and has never been a side effect of Prozac, nor could the higher dose have been contributing to the trichotillomania (it should have been making it better). She thinks my "depression has progressed," and would, if anything, recommend INCREASING my dosage. So yeah, I walked into the appointment expecting to be changed to another medication or at least to have my dosage decreased. Uh no.

Because in the past I've been such an idiot about taking my meds regularly, I have a whole bunch of "leftover" Prozac. So I can, in essence, play around with the level I take if I want to. I'll probably stick with 40 mg for a while, making SURE I take it every day, and see how that works out.

Of course, if my mood changes, it's going to be incredibly difficult to ascertain whether it's due to the medication or to a change in environment (since I'll be home soon). Hell, I don't know whether I'd feel happier or sadder at home, actually. I'm very homesick and miss my old friends and desperately want to go home -- on the other hand, the last two times I've been home on break I've wound up so horrifically depressed and lethargic, which seems counterintuitve. Round and round my mood goes, and where it stops, nobody knows.

I don't know. I mean, on one hand, Dr. Munir's the expert. I should trust her. On the other hand, I know how I feel, and side effects of antidepressants can be downright weird and unexpected.

Today it is delightful outside. I intended to work all afternoon and instead lay in the sun with wonderful people. I have no regrets, but I probably will tomorrow. It is purported to be even more delightful tomorrow. I will do curly hair and sundress again. Tonight, I am going to see The Shadow Box. Tomorrow: class, TGIF, synagogue, Tzedek dance marathon (maybe), Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (yes, the 1971 version!) with Eliza, Tevi and others.

Still approximately 3 weeks behind in Research Methods. Still not sure what to do about that. Putting it from my mind for now.

I ordered a lovely bathing suit online and await its arrival impatiently.